Monday, April 1, 2013
Thump, Thump
I can see it
Twitching in my wrist
I can feel it
Thump thumping in my neck
Bright blue veins
Visible through such
Pale pale skin
Like a metronome
Constantly keeping the beat
This melody faded away
A long, long time ago
But my pulse is convinced
That I’m still alive
R.R.
R.R.
Newport Lights
Fast
drag of tobacco
Hot
tar filling my healthy lungs
Nestling
into my alveoli
Damaging
my youthful respiratory system
Poisonous
smoke exhaled
The
cloudy haze looks identical
To
breath against chilly winter air
This
isn’t an addiction
I
don’t need nicotine running through my veins
I’m
not even a big fan of the taste or smell
The
last time I sucked on cancer sticks
Was
six months ago
In
the warm summer heat
Almost
an entire pack in just a couple of hours
First
and last day of being a smoker
Except
today I went to the Smoking Corner
Right
outside of my school
Bummed
a cig off of a kid sure to drop out
As soon as he can
As soon as he can
Borrowed
his lighter
And
inhaled disgusting soot
Just
to feel the burn in my lungs
To
remind me that I’m alive
R.R.
R.R.
Only At Night
I
put on your old shirts
That
I keep hidden in my bottom drawer
Every
time I pull them out of their hiding spot
I
hope that they’ll still smell like you
Even
though it’s been months upon months
Since
I have seen you
I
put on your old shirts
That
I keep hidden in my bottom drawer
Every
time I pull them out of their hiding spot
I
hope that while I no longer see you in the day
You
will pay me a visit in my restless dreams
R.R.
R.R.
Our Abode
We’re
speeding down Transit road. All three of
us are in the front seat of Austin’s truck and headed to an undetermined
destination. It’s not even that warm,
but it’s the first day in months that isn't freezing. I’m sandwiched between my best friends,
Austin and Charlie, with the windows rolled down and blink-182 blaring from the
shitty radio in the old Chevy. We’re all
smoking these horrible cigarettes that Charlie got from the Indian reservation. They don’t taste like anything; it’s like I’m
smoking air. I rip out half of the filter,
but it only improves the flavor slightly.
I don’t even know why I’m wasting my (partially) healthy lungs on
something this mediocre, but I am.
“Aust, where are
we even going?” I ask as Lockport
whizzes by us.
“Away. Anywhere,”
Austin offers as an answer. I put
my cig out in the make-shift ashtray we made last summer (an old Tim Horton’s
coffee cup in the left cup holder of his truck) and light up another one.
“Let’s go to
Vic’s,” Charlie suggests, flicking the ashes of his cigarette out the
window. I nod in agreement. Vic always has bud at his place, nothing to
disagree with there. Austin speeds
through a red light near the produce market (he’s honestly the most reckless
driver in the universe. I don’t know how
he hasn't managed to get a ticket,) which means we’re out of Lockport. Out of one town and into the outskirts of
another.
“We should go
out west, get out of that piss hole.”
Austin is always talking about how much he hates Lockport. How it’s an old washed up town, full of liars
and people who don’t give a fuck about anything. He’s always dreaming up these big plans of leaving, going somewhere warm, making something of his life. I've tried to tell him that Lockport’s not as
bad as he says it is, how its got a certain charm, but he won’t hear any of it. Austin can’t wait to get out of Lockport and
never come back. That’s what everyone
says though, isn’t it? How they’ll leave their
hometown, say they’ve got nothing to hold them down to it anyway, and never
come back home. But it feels like
everyone ends up staying. You always see
the same people getting coffee at the same diner downtown. The same teenagers are always loitering in
the same parking lots. To me, Lockport
is one of those towns that everyone claims to hate, but never seem to leave.
Absolutely loved this
The world is heavy but your bones (just a cubic inch) can hold 19,000 lbs
Ounce for ounce they are stronger than steel
Atom for atom you are more precious than diamond
And stars have died so that you may live
You need to remember these things when you say
That you are weak and worthless
source ( x )
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